Don't be an Asshole
The 8 worst things people do at Dawson, ranked
By Talia Kliot
What makes your skin crawl, your pulse race, and your patience dissipate? Dawson students with bad manners! I know, a total knee slapper. While Dawson is home to some wonderful students, there are certainly a handful that forget that other people exist as well. After speaking to many of them, I have compiled a list of the worst offences, and will proceed to rank them from mildly irritating to murder inducing (Just kidding! The Plant does not condone murder for any reason). That being said, if you recognize yourself in any of these paragraphs, I highly suggest that you reconsider some of your life choices.
Let’s start off slow. You’re opening the door from Dawson into the passageway to the metro after a long day. You pull it back, but just as you’re about to exit, someone comes slivering through. They bump into you, nearly knocking your Opus card out of your hand. Definitely annoying, but not that bad. It’s common courtesy to allow people to leave before coming in, but if you didn’t know that, you can be easily forgiven.
This next one especially bothers the brave souls who have to trek up to the seventh or eighth floors for their classes, or even worse, the fourth floor of the Forum. While some opt for the stairs in fear of the million-year-old elevators breaking down, others suffer when people leave on their large backpacks or when they stay towards the front, not allowing the maximum amount of people to enter. We all feel like sardines too, okay? But we all also want to get to class on time.
The third and fourth offenses deal with taking up too much space, as well. Number three goes out to all of you who man/woman/nonbinary spread. You know who you are. There’s no reason for you to sit two centimeters away from your classmate, even if your perfume does smell pretty nice. The fourth no-go is sitting at a group table in the library when you’re only one person, especially on a day when it’s super busy. Just go to one of the individual desks. Also, you’re not fooling anyone by putting your backpack on one of the chairs.
Number five is when it starts to get serious. We’re all definitely guilty of walking while being on our phones in the hallways. But, most have mastered the art of texting without looking, while others will literally stop abruptly to finish their sentence, holding up everyone walking behind them. Then there’s the awkward dance of whether you squeeze past them, wait, or worse, bump into them. And then they glare at you if you don’t say sorry. Infuriating.
This one is bad. Real bad. Picture this, it’s almost 8 am and you’re briskly walking to your classroom. But then, you see it: two people making out, and it’s not just your average peck. I’m all for love, but I don’t feel like watching live porn in the morning, or in general, for that matter. Save that shnitzel for the eighth floor.
The seventh misdemeanour is one that Dawson: Spotted has a field day with. If you still do this, I’m pretty sure you have a personal vendetta against everyone else. DON’T STAND STILL ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE ESCALATOR. The right side is for standing, the left is for super fit or late people who want to walk up. This is small, but honestly, it is enough to ruin my day. Don’t be that person.
"If you recognize yourself in any of these paragraphs, I highly suggest that you reconsider some of your life choices."
Last but not least, the worst offence in my humble opinion is chewing loudly and eating smelly food in class. No one wants to hear your version of ASMR while listening to a lecture, or breathe in the fumes of leftover fish sticks. There’s a reason we have fifteen minutes between classes. Kindly finish your snacks outside in the hallway. I’ll leave it at that.
Hopefully, my rant has inspired you to not be an asshole. And if you already don’t commit these breaches of common courtesy, you were able to relate, or at least have a good laugh. Wishing you a wonderful last two days of classes filled with well-mannered peers!