• theplantnews

Dr. Seuss’ Drunken Rambling After a Marital Affair

By Isabella Blu Ptito-Echeverria

Voices Editor

“You’re a nose-picker, head-splitter, tooth-breaker, shit-eater!”

A finger pointed like the metal bat of some beer-bellied wife-beater.

Yet it’s me she’s yelling at, with her foul-breathed, baseball brat of a tongue singing ghastly words, just for fun

But she ain’t wrong,

I’m a head-splitting, tooth-breaking, shit-eating cheater.

The scene is so cold I’d buy some sweat by the litre

The rose-scented witch I was with didn’t like me either

I try to feel bad--

I’m like a child on a seesaw when I see her

the weight back and forth, from leg-to-leg, it teeters

Who made it so playgrounds were built?

To let our wild-child out with no guilt?

It’s a facade, because at the slightest tilt

You’ll find yourself balls-deep in a rose-scented, world-shattering, divorce-inducing aether.


Recent Posts

See All

Creative Writing November 2021

It’s all it is, really. After the year has culminated in its phantasmal climax, there is nothing… But I joke. It’s time to harvest, can and pickle all the goodies that this year brought for you! And y

The Bees' First Sting

By Tea Barrett Contributor Coats over costumes like clouds covering the sun, Sneaking sweets out of your sack. The evening always ends too early, Until the sugar crash hits. The autumn air nips at you

Confessions of a Cashier

By Kayla Joy Friedland Contributor between the buzzing and beeping and sweet potatoes rolling beyond the carpet and to your feet where you greet me with squiggly lines for eyebrows that look like your