Excerpt from “Off the Deep End”
Every dark emotion you’re feeling hits you like punches from a fight you were never going to win as you slide against the bathroom door. As the cold from the tiles pierces every nerve in your body, running the chill up your spine, you wonder if life is even worth living. Should you go on? Should you make the effort? Should you wake up tomorrow? Should you sleep all day and just go numb?
Would you be missed? Would you be mourned? Did you ever truly feel loved or cared for? Would there even be a difference in anybody’s life if you weren’t there? Did you make an impact? You lie on the floor, paralyzed, not understanding life or why it works the way it does. You start questioning everything, overthinking every possible detail of every traumatic event that happened to you and your world. Everything is unfair, unreasonable, unbalanced. Nothing makes sense. What happens after you go into the light? Where do you go? Your thoughts? Your feelings? Do you know what happens? Your brain is screaming, from all the thoughts you’ve had to ignore and bury as you forced on a smile. You can’t take the pain, can’t take the sadness, and everything is overwhelming you all at once.