• theplantnews

How To Stay Awake At Dawson

by Jordan Tsering


September 15, 2017 | Curiosities


via Green Chameleon

In some kind of terrible and confusing moment, you’ve now ended up with four 8AM classes for your first semester. Now you’re stuck trying to figure out what the game plan is. There is no game plan. Every morning you wake up with the question: “how many more classes can I miss?” Eventually, reality crashes in front of you and there remain three options.

1. DROP YOUR CLASS

2. STOP ATTENDING CLASS AND FAIL

3. GO TO CLASS

As tempting as dropping or failing a class in your first semester may be, the latter option is probably your best choice. Now the question of how to survive the eight am class arises.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: THESE TIPS AND TRICKS CAN BE USED FOR ANY CLASS REGARDLESS OF TIME. THE ONLY PREREQUISITE IS FOR YOU TO BE TIRED.)

COFFEE

The most important thing to know about Coffee and College is that you do not have to drink it black. You will absolutely meet someone in your first semester who at every opportunity will talk about how they drink their coffee black. The delicious beverage and Dawson go together hand in hand. Dawson has the Tim Hortons on the second floor of the school, the Timmies at the metro level entrance to Alexis Nihon, and other close by suppliers to get your caffeine fix. These places are the perfect way to stay awake and alert in your very important first semester and all the semester to follow.

PROS AND CONS

  • +  Bonus points towards college aesthetic

  • +  Surprisingly fantastic for your liver (if you drink it black)

  • – Once you start drinking coffee, you do not stop.

  • – Instant Coffee

  • + Instant Coffee

ENERGY DRINKS

No one wants to be the person cracking open a cold energy drink at 7:45 am to survive their Intro to Introductions course, but if you’ve reached that point, your health is no longer a concern. The only tip for drinking an energy drink that early in public is to conceal the fact that you’re drinking liquid poison for breakfast. Just pour that sweet energy boost into a non-transparent bottle and avoid thinking about the inevitable crash that follows.

PROS AND CONS

  • + No need to worry about knowing what a frappucino-latte is, and other confusing caffeine related terms.

  • – A concerning amount of unknown vitamins.

  • – Dangerously close to drinking battery acid.

  • + Surprisingly you get some energy from these drinks.

REASONABLE SLEEP SCHEDULE AND REGULAR EXERCISE

… I mean I guess.

If there’s one thing you should take from this piece, it’s that at the end of the day, in the beginning of the day you can just show up late.

CONTACT US

@theplantnews

© 2020 by The Plant Newspaper.​

SINCE 1969