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Queen BP’s Revenge

Luca Messina


You’ve worn the crown upon your head

Stared through the lives of the many

And spit the bare faced lies you said

In hopes we wouldn’t mutiny.

We’re all good pirates: to raze,

To pillage the soil and take,

Burn it all and warm our feeble

Bones by the blaze.

Oh, feed us our daily rum

Squeezed from only the freshest

Of high-fructose corn syrups

“Now with real rum concentrate.”

Below the deck in sorrow,

Through tight-lipped frowns we swallow

The poisons of the captain’s rations.

But some day you will walk

The plank itself gilded with gold

For your retirement under the palms

Of virgin beaches on the islands.

We know the game:

Only the cruelest peg-legs

keep their doubloons.

Just imagine it now sailors, 

The crown falling overboard,

Swashbucklers no more.

We will sing, our freedom an ode

To the end of the gore.

We’ll be handed the reigns

Of this unsavable shit

Reveling in joy

From our plastic ship.


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